Popcorn Politicians

Probably what the public of Pakistan really wants besides having  16 hour power shortages, fuel as expensive as diamonds, rampant unemployment, slaughtered gunny bagged human bodies, and spurs of gunfire is another flaming speech by a politician.

Almost every other day, a politician takes a seat at a ‘talk show’ to shout loudest,hurl filthiest expletives or to make a ‘significant’ announcement exposing other party’s  incompetence all this in an impressive display of oratory skills and dramatic (yet no less controversial) revelations that never fail to render our uncertain political scenario in a quagmire.What really adds  fuel to these fiery speeches are the hosts, gaudy sound effects for breaking news and if it still doesn’t work one can always resort to playing the religion card and use of ‘the bells and whistles’ of swearing upon Holy Quran to add credibility to his assertions.If you still can’t ruffle enough feather you may pull off a Sheikh Rashid by trying to spice things up via  dash of humour and astrology. lastly there is always this devils advocate who has heaps of files to cite as evidence(that never goes anywhere).

Earlier this year it was CJ vs the government, regardless of who was right or wrong it highlighted a very important aspect our society that is you can always turn to politicians whenever you  crave some entertainment in your otherwise vanilla life. No matter how emotion-less, stone souled an individual is  one just cannot help but crack up at Altaf Hussain’s Parde men Rehne Do. Almost like a Ekta Kapoor soap opera there is always something exploding across your TV screens. And if you are still feel happy and optimistic just watch Kamran Khan’s show on Geo this dude can make  unicorns cry and even angels cringe in misery.

However leaving everything aside it is interesting to notice the bouts of pride and piety amongst the poor populace during these TV tantrums, some of these mundane public figures are suddenly transformed into either a satanic traitor or a messiah. An example to prove this is former cricketer Imran Khan this famous playboy from 90s is now one of the front runner for public office thanks to massive social media campaign , another incident of former Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi who was deemed as an US agent earlier and was conveniently made a hero  later after he spoke ill of his own party led Government, then another much respected  ambassador for writing a shady memo and then more recently a real estate tycoon attacking CJ’s family.We Pakistanis are truly one of a kind.

The sole reason why most of these TV debates and big Jalsas with flowery rhetoric do not lead us anywhere is because our ‘Rulers’ remain obliviously apathetic and the general public remains helpless and delusionary optimistic.Proof of it lies in the fact that there are more funny SMS being circulated about our political scenario then prayers for stability and calls for concern. It all boils down to another media extravaganza,another week or so of fruitless ‘pseudo analytical’ babbling on TV, bearded men trekking half of the country in the name of long march and CJ taking gazillions of notices such as fixing samosa prices.

Summing up politics in Pakistan:

Altaf Bhai ka pardey men rehne do, Zardari’s  khappey, Imran Khan’s lota Tsunami, Rehman Malik ka saib/kela … Bohat Nazuk Soorat-e-Haal hai


2 responses to “Popcorn Politicians

    • Oh the world would be a much better looking place if people like you ruled countries.So I say go ahead, I ll vote for you and I know plenty of others who would too.
      Thank you for compliment.

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